It’s Thursday night, August 15th.
It’s been almost 50 hours from the heartbreaking scene of my life.
I almost feel better today, I don’t cry when people talk and ask me about that.
I’ve been emotionally pain and suffer, and I put so much effort to ease it.
Not until I realize, I’m not so ready to face it.
I still can imagine him sitting next to me and talk like there’s no tomorrow.
And we laugh, and we make fun of each other.
And we start to remain silent.
We start to make a conversation again about anything.
We don’t have any idea about where to go for a dinner.
We start to googling any place to eat, or looking for a new place to try on Path’s check-in activities.
I still can see his smile, and when he smiles, his left eye gets smaller than the right one.
I still can smell his perfume, even though he doesn’t wear it after 7 hours of hospital duty.
I still can feel his love.
I still can feel him in my heart.
I miss him.
I miss him and there’s nothing I can do for us.
I miss him and even though I let him know, he knows there’s nothing he can do for us.
I miss him and even though we both know, I know there’s no future for this feeling.
I miss him. And the whole world know this isn’t more than a feeling.
I miss you, RAD.