Because Once Again, I Lose Something

When I didn’t get to Med School, I stay in my faith that good things will come to me because, like they said, God always open the windows when the doors are closed.

I was wondering what is the good thing about being in 2nd choice and not be able to fulfill your lifetime dream. And, unfortunately, to accept and live the days like that wasn’t that simple.

Until someday I met you and be with you, and living the half of my 2nd choice’s life with you. And that time, I believe that was the opened windows for me. The good thing that finally came for me, maybe as an unpredictable gift that God had planned for me. The ‘it’ gift for living the 2nd choice with faith and open minded.

But I was wrong. You’re not. Because once again, God hasn’t yet give me the ‘it’ gift for my unfulfilled dream. You’re gone, together with my lifetime dream.


About Broken Promises; Yes It Hurts.

Tonight, when I was listening music on iTunes, I’ve found the 25 most played songs. The most played goes to ‘Each Day Gets Better’ by John Legend. Played 109 times. Funny, though, because it’s a sweet song and it represents one of my sweetest memories when I fell in love for the first time for him. But then a strange feeling came.
“I’ll promise her I’ll never leave….”
Yes I do realize. He broke his promises. And that may be the most rational reason why I have to move on.


People Like Us, We Don’t Need That Much. Just Someone That Starts The Sparks in Our Bonfire Heart

It’s midnight. And like the other nights, I hardly can sleep.

When I close my eyes, my head spins around and it keeps me awake with the memories they rewind.

Sometimes it feels good, but also disturbing at the other time.

And it comes good when they replay the memories tonight.

I smiled and laughed when I saw our silly and lovely photos,

and I tried to remember the details that happened in the day we took the photos.

I saw happiness and joy,

and good lucks that we had before.

I see this as the reason why I have to thank God for what I’ve had, despite the dark clouds surrounding these days.

I thank God for the heaven we borrowed once,

Thank God because we had each other once,

Thank God for an unpredictable and (surprisingly) irresistable guy He sent once,

Thank God I’ve been high and that was a lifetime great feelings,

Thank God because no matter how hard it is to forget, no matter how big my curiosity about his feeling for me now, no matter how hurt to know that he is moving on,

It was once happened to be the most beautiful days in my life.

Thank God.

Best regards from Earth,

R ❤️


Good Bye To You

If you were about to leave,
just leave.
I don’t need any additional reasons
Or another drama.
Don’t show off you hanging out with girl friends,
or you there trying to flirt with someone.
If you were about to leave,
just leave.
I don’t need any additional reasons,
or another drama.


If Only I Could, But I Know I Never Could

Behind all tears, cries, hurts, aches, disappointments, and all the sadness,
There’s one thing I couldn’t ask for more
All I want is you to be brave
I want you to fight more
And meet the demand
I want you to say more
And push the effort to the limit
I want you to want me
As much as you’ve told me before
As much as you’ve made me want you back
As much as you’ve said that I’ve lighten your darkness
I want you to make it true
And bring us to the future we’ve once dreamed together
I want you to hold my hands again
And prove me that you’re going to fulfill the promises you’ve once made
Prove me that you’re my guy
Prove me that I’ve been loving the right person
Prove me that I’m the queen of your heart
Prove me that if something goes wrong, you will always beside me
You will, and you always will
Because it’s what you decided right before you kneel and asked me,
“Zahrina Tresna Wahidin, will you let me be the happiest man in the world tonight?”